not even

Vaginal intercourse

2007-06-13T08:52:57Z

brian_loserface @ 2007-06-11T12:11:00

2007-06-11T19:15:34Z

Last night I realized that one of the people I trust more then anyone else in the world was dating two people at the same time about a year ago. Also, I don't think I'm ready for any of this, but I think when you're 17 and faced with college, everyone thinks this way. I also think that everyone is just as emotional as everyone else, but some people are better then hiding it then others. One of those sentances is probably wrong.

I guess we'll just have to adjust

2007-06-10T00:53:56Z

Last night Frank graduated from High School. When he walked across the stage Sid, Nathan and I yelled. I tried to name off the members of the Wu Tang Clan, though only got as far as GZA.

Afterwards we all mingled, the party people, Frank's Family, Bri's Family, possibly other families, I don't really know. I don't have one, if you were looking to make a joke there. Bri's parents and Frank's parents like me a lot. They asked me how things were going. We asked Bri's dad how he felt about Frank dating his daughter and he just shrugged. What a guy

We all headed to Denny's afterwards and Sid was on the verge of a nervous breakdown and DJ smelled really bad. I talked to Courtney for the first time in however long a really long time is, and it was weird in that "this should be weird but it isn't" way. Natasha called me and asked if I could pick her up from this party she was at so Courtney and I drove over there and picked her up, and on the way back they made fun of me a lot. It reminded me a lot of last summer. Matt Maceda showed up at Denny's a little while after and we all discussed BLTs. Natasha had to go back to the party and wanted me to go with her, because it was lame. So I did, and it was really lame. I had to sleep over because Chloe lost her keys.

Arrested Development Marathons are the best thing of anyone's life ever

Tynanasauros Ricks

2007-06-08T00:33:40Z

It's 5;22, bright and sunny outside, and I feel like it's the middle of the night. I kind of feel like I'm floating down a river, and I just found out that I left a Quart of Ice Cream in my Dad's car last night. It's in the freezer right now reforming itself, though hopes of it being as good as it could have been are very low

I went through all my video games to see if there were any that I could sell to Gamestop for precious moneys, but I came to the embarresing realization that out of all of the games I have, I want to part with exactly none of them.

Everyone is freaking out because their last day of school is tommorrow. In the meantime, I am busy writing essays about modern teenaged society and eating frozen Pop Tarts. I think my life has lost a lot of the meaning it used to, or gained a lot more meaning then it ever had before. I'm not really sure.

I really want to drive right now, even though there's really only one place I want to go. It'd be nice.

This photo reminds me of victory

Not much chance for survival

2007-06-07T00:44:39Z

I haven't shaved in almost a week and I look like I should be sitting on my couch, drinking beer, and threatening to beat my wife.

I have a lot of plans that I hope I can get through over the next few weeks. It should be good. Bikes and Photos and Dogs and possibly water balloons. I don't even know.

Weekends.

We can taste the fear

2007-06-06T01:29:40Z

I've spent the past hour reading about things on Wikipedia and contemplating whether or not, in all reality, there's a difference between choosing the boy or the girl as your character in Pokemon.

Annihilus, sometimes called the Living Death That Walks

I think if you're sometimes called the Living Death That Walks, you should just kick it up a notch and make it so people call you that on the regular.

I think I'm going to go make some food or something. I am starving.

She's got her hands in her pockets and she's walking around
She's got a face made for smiling but she's making a frown
She says, "All you ever talk about is letting us down
If you ever see me dying, just put me in the ground"

There is a rusty light on the pines tonight

2007-06-04T22:29:54Z

Nathan is laying on my bed playing Mario on Chloe's DS and occasionally yelling obscenities at the screen as he dies.
He dies a lot.

This weekend I went with Natasha to Orange County, to a Baseball Game. Angels vs. Orioles. I don't really like the Orioles at all, but you know. We went and they had a Ruby's that gave me a ton of chili fries and a Hooters that gave Natasha Buffalo Wings. Every Inning was sponsered by something weird. If an Angel hits a home run, you go to Hawaii. If an Angel hits a Triple, get a free computer. At one point an entire section got free food, and they said "Send in the Hooter's Girls." I expected them to parachute in or something to that effect, but they didn't. The Angels won and we went to Natasha's Grandmother's house to spend the night and watched bad movies and made fun of her brother. I repeated myself a lot and went to sleep and missed out on Fight Club.

The next day Natasha woke me up and we watched Jonestown documentaries. We left the house not that long after and headed down to the beach. I didn't bring Swimming Trunks since I didn't know we were going. I had to wear Gym Shorts. It was kind of cold and I bought Americone Dream so I sat on the shore eating and thinking mostly. Natasha's Dad told me stories about hanging out with his friends and how they almost died. They were good. He's a good guy.
Natasha eventually dragged me into the water, and it was really really really cold. I got used to it though, and started swimming out. I tried body surfing on a giant wave and realized why people don't wear Gym Shorts at the beach, because they kept falling down, making it impossible to do much with the waves. So I basically floated around for a while. It was really nice. Natasha's brother kept getting stuck. It was kind of scary.
After we left the beach it was basically straight home. Everyone fell asleep and once we got back to Natasha's we went swimming. It was nice. I enjoy Pool Noodles.

Her mom then said I had to leave, so I called Chloe and she came over to get me and hang out. We got Natasha Chips really quick and then went to the River. After that she dropped me off at home and I basically just went to sleep.

The entire point, since nobody is going to bother reading that, is that I had a really good time this weekend, hanging out with Natasha. I really like hanging out with her a lot.

I just think I love her a lot.

Sweedish Meatballs

2007-06-02T23:54:37Z

I just read my previous entry for the first time in 4 days and realized that I had told Ryan pretty much all of that stuff before. I don't even know. I think more then anything else I just miss Ryan being the way he used to be, but that's really nothing more then nostalgia I suppose. People change and grow apart and blah blah blah, cliched bullshit.

And for the record, I still love you a lot, Ryan. Anytime you feel like whatever, call me or something.

Also, I don't hate the Literary Arts magazine. I really respect all the hard work they put into it, and the fact that they're 17 year old girls trying to put together a legitimate magazine. I'm really impressed by the final outcome. However, I also have a bunch of criticisms of it that nobody will ever really know because I can't exactly tell them without them getting offended, and nobody really cares about my opinion anyway.

These retractions make me feel like Page 2 of the New York Times

Natasha just told me that's her favorite part of the New York Times. We're at her Grandma's house in Orange County. Her Grandma is about 2 feet shorter than me and the most unlike Natasha's Mother's side of the family lady I've ever met. I'm starting to realize how different her Mom and Dad are, and it kind of makes me feel uncomfortable to be analyzing her family.

She is drinking Berries and Cream Dr. Pepper and it's disgusting, as well as showing me a picture of a Middle Eastern Castle. We're going to a baseball game later and for some reason I just feel complete.

I went camping with my Dad and a guy he works with Thursday and helped the guy build a cabin. It was in the middle of nowhere, which is in the middle of a desert, for anyone keeping track. During the night it got really quiet, quieter then nature should be. I played "Emily" over and over while staring at the moon and got this really weird feeling that I wanted to be with Natasha.

I've been getting that a lot lately, and it's different from the old "Hey, I like you, let's hang out" kind of feeling. It's weird.

I missed Nathan's birthday due to camping, but I got him a really good gift, so it's okay. It's oooookay.

Natasha is bugging me to get off the computer now, so I will.

Anyhow, I sat by your side, by the water
You taught me the names of the stars overhead that I wrote down in my ledger
Though all I knew of the wrote universe were those pleiades loosed in december
I promised you I‘d set them to verse so I'd always remember

That the meteorite is a source of the light
And the meteor's just what we see
And the meteoroid is a stone that's devoid of the fire that propelled it to thee

And the meteorite's just what causes the light
And the meteor's how it's perceived
And the meteoroid's a bone thrown from the void that lies quiet in offering to thee

It's the way that you said it

2007-05-31T07:39:23Z

Today I saw Ryan and actually talked to him for the first time in about a month and I got really depressed.
Not in a joking "Haha, Ryan is an depressing guy, suicide lawl" way, more in a "Fuck you" kind of way.

The fact that someone constantly talks to you about his problems and how he wants to get rid of them and then just creates a situation/situations that just increases them is totally and completely idiotic.
All your problems are you dwelling on things and making them more then they ever have any right to be. Stephanie Watson, your mom, your friends, your entire life. None of it is or ever was as big of a problem as you make it out to be, but that wouldn't make your life difficult, and for whatever reason you have to make your life difficult or else you're not happy.
The best part is anything I write will be read by Ryan and then brought up to mock me, probably by him saying "Oh yeah, that fucking guy Brian, saying "You're an asshole now" and shit like that, like he knows everything" and then someone will say "You've always been an asshole" and everyone will laugh it off and ignore the fact that this just seems to be an endless cycle.

I made a tape last night called "Fuck You Ryan Cartwright" that I was going to give to him sometime and then I saw him today and got really mad, because for about 5 minutes he was back to being the way he was a month ago. Then it just spiralled down. Seeing the people you love fuck themselves over is a horrible feeling.

While I'm at it, I hate the Literary Arts Magazine. But I could go on for several hours about that, so I won't.

This mood will probably pass once I go to sleep, but for right now I'm just angry at everything, but mostly just angry at myself for not being able to change any of it or help my friends when they need it.

brian_loserface @ 2007-05-28T19:34:00

2007-05-29T09:46:15Z

I'm playing Twilight Princess and this cat that looks exactly like Pandora is following me and it's adorable.

This weekend I slept everywhere except my bed, got a horrible rash from too much chlorine and too much soap combining into one huge chemical monster, went back to a house I spent a large part of my childhood in, drank Thai Iced Tea, sat at Ironwood until 12:30 at night, and ate Carl's Jr. for breakfast.

It's been amazing.

"He War" has been the theme of the entire thing, and I don't really know why. It's just been stuck in my head for the past 3 days.

Civil War threatens to tear the Marvel Universe apart and Aquaman has the creatures of the sea at his command, this is what Wikipedia has taught me.

I am so boring lately, I don't even know why. I don't even know if I'm actually boring, or if I just think I am due to the fact that I can never be satisfied with my life. I think I've just been spending too much time at home and not getting enough sleep.

Sleep is what I need.

I suck at Livejournal nowadays.

Diababa vs. Salazar

2007-05-24T08:59:17Z

It's 1:30 in the morning and I'm playing Zelda and all I can think about is how much the Forest Temple Boss reminds me of Salazar from Resident Evil 4, but with Link and a monkey instead of Leon S. Kennedy

Also, if I see that video of Feist performing "I Feel it All" on a bus on one more blog, I am going to make an empty threat. I like it, but it's no longer "brand new in the world of music." I doubt people are seeing it first at armandhammerfortoothbrushes.blogspot.com

Then again, I'm a cynical asshole

Today I remembered something Rob Sheffield wrote. It was good.

I am writing this on my Wii because my laptop is being repaired.

Resident Evil 4 for Wii is going to be tight

Natasha Opfell is my favorite person to spend time with. Did you know this? Do you care? Etc?

Never post Park Ave. album titles as LJ entries. It will only cause confusion.

I need sleep

Take care of the babies

2007-05-21T22:09:02Z

Prom was exactly what you would expect.
Me wearing a suit, Natasha looking really beautiful, Skip being a really nice driver, Mac and Cheese with Chili Fries, teenagers going crazy for Sir Mix-A-Lot, the Indie Rock crowd acting cool and complaining that they only played two techno songs and they "Couldn't Dance" to the stuff they were playing.

Some girl got proposed to in the middle of "My Boo". I'm betting she was pregnant and looked like this.

Afterwards we went to the house of this girl who used to be in my English Class, back when I had an English Class. It was fun. Then Chloe sat and threw up on the floor and continuously denied being sick or wanting to go to the bathroom.

We took her home afterwards, and I slept over at Natasha's and woke up way too early and was really tired all day yesterday, but it was worth it because I got to see Spider-Man 3 and kick it with Natasha.
I went to sleep at 10 last night and woke up at 1:30 today.

My computer is mysteriously broken and I don't know what it is. It's either the processor or the sound card, neither of which I'm really too excited about the prospect of replacing.

Heroes ends tonight, and it's going to be really really tight.

Something out of key

2007-05-19T23:11:35Z

Everything I have ever owned ever is breaking lately and it's frustrating and depressing at the same time.

My glasses just broke when I was drying my hair, my Laptop's Processor is now damaged, I don't even know how that happened, the Hot Water Heater is fucked, and I am just annoyed.

Home Movies is a quality Television Show, and you all should start watching it.

I will meet you at the Great Divide

2007-05-17T06:18:52Z

I was on Chloe's myspace and the new Arctic Monkey's song started playing and I didn't think it was that bad, and then I realized that I had accidentally opened her profile twice so the song was layering over itself by about a 5 second difference.
I closed the first tab and then the song turned really shitty.

I just really don't like any of the sudden influx of Dance-Rock bands. They're all for the most part obnoxious and unoriginal.
"Hey man, how about this Bass line?"
"Yeah! Alright! Let's add a glaring synthesizer to it and then dress in wacky clothing!"
"We're on a roll!"

So much drama is going down lately.
Really, if everyone wasn't so scared, they could just avoid all this.
Whatever. You're all getting what you deserve for not just being honest in the first place.

It was mine and Natasha's 6 month anniversary today.
It's kind of weird, because it doesn't feel like that long.
It's been great though, far better then I would have ever thought.

I love that girl, I really do.

There's a lot to be said
For looking out for the people you love best
Safety in numbers
And the color red

brian_loserface @ 2007-05-15T23:07:00

2007-05-16T06:37:40Z

Today was another one of those days that I would probably normally describe very vaugely and only one other person ever would ever get, but I am really tired.

I love that girl more then anyone/thing/place ever ever ever.

On the real.

"Wheres the sticky?"

I'm so awkward

Pokemon Diamond is the experience of a lifetime

Peter Gabriel too

2007-05-13T10:56:47Z

Sea Wolf is a featured band on Myspace, and as such, I feel really uncomfortable.

I really like going back months and years in music blog archives and seeing what was popular back in the day.

I'm pretty sure the "Indie" music scene isn't really that Indie at all, and that it's about as underground as the "Alternative Rock" movement was in the 90's. It's the same thing, all over again.
I bet that there'll be Arcade Fire reunions at Coachella and kids in shorts and long-sleeved t-shirts (As will be the future style, because heat no longer rises or something) will be making fun of all the Fat, Middle Aged, Balding people in V-Necks and flowy dresses.

It's all just an endless cycle and it's really weird to think about.

Today while waiting for the Bus I had an overwhelming feeling of claustrophobia. I could not stand to be anywhere in the Valley, and wanted to either leave it or go home and crawl under my bedsheets and never come out ever again.
So I waited 20 minutes and chose the latter.

Natasha called me and talked me out of it without really trying to and I ended up at her house an hour later.
We played Wii and drank Margarita Mix on accident and sat in a Jacuzzi for an hour talking about our lives and ended with an America's Next Top Model Marathon.

It all added up to a beautiful day, like one of those albums that you listen to at first and really kind of dislike but you make yourself listen to it again because something about it doesn't totally push you away, and then you end up loving it.

Man, I make a lot horrible references/similes/metaphors.
The basic point is I was having a really bad day until I saw her.

Hi You Locus Move

brian_loserface @ 2007-05-12T02:08:00

2007-05-12T09:14:49Z

I think I might have come off as a huge asshole today, but it was still one of the best days I've had in a while.

I rode my bike to Palm Desert, played Fifth Wheel to a Zoe-Chloe-Stephanie-Natasha reunion, learned the wonders of dinosaur sprinkles and accidentally sounded really sarcastic at Goldenspoon (Really, random lady, I apologize. I sounded completely different then what I meant), and basically just kicked it with some good people.

My mouth is full, your heart is an apple
My mouth is full, your heart is an apple
Pomme-pomme-pomme-pomme-pomme-pomme-pomme-pomme

brian_loserface @ 2007-05-09T21:57:00

2007-05-10T05:09:06Z

I got my laptop and bike back today.
I bought a beautiful seat for the bike, it's by far the most comfortable ride I've ever had.

The Hard Drive in the laptop was screwed, so I had to get a new one.
This means the loss of 2 years of photos and stories and movies, and more importantly, the hacked copy of Warcraft III I spent a month trying to find.
And Princess Maker 2

Also, every program and driver ever, which has led to a 2 hour downloading spree that shows no signs of stopping
And for the record, I added all my music to iTunes an hour ago and it's barely in the middle of analyzing all the album artwork
If anyone (Matt) knows of a good Shareware Music Player, let me know

Life is going really well.
Being home isn't all that bad.
Everything I own seems to be breaking lately though.
It's odd

It feels like Ryan is avoiding me. Maybe because of the money, maybe because he just doesn't like me.
Stephanie Watson and I kicked it for the first time in 2 months last night, it was tight
Chloe can drive now

Natasha is doing well, we went shopping the other day.
I love that girl a lot.

Life.

Scare your sons, scare your daughters

2007-05-06T07:17:37Z

I love that girl so much.
More then the amount I hate my laptop not working

I would elaborate, but I'm tired and I think you get the point

2 hours is more then enough.
And not enough at all.

''Are those LEMONS?''

Oh, You you you you
3 months.
love.

I've missed this feeling

People say that your dreams
Are the only things that save you
Come on baby, in our dreams
We can live our misbehavior

Skip on down through a field of Gillyflowers

2007-05-04T08:11:36Z

Today was a beautiful day.

Gallery's, Condecendng Criticism, Alliteration, Nachos and Parfait, Andrew Bird and Tilly & The Wall, Prom Dresses, small pieces of paper, Chloe driving, hugs, and starry skies

Also, a lot of Cat Power and Decemberists.

My messenger in disguise
Makes up for such short goodbyes.

You can't come home again.
Each time it's different.
And the yards around your feet fall away while you're asleep.

Each day, spend it with me now.
All my time, spend it with me now.
But each day spend it with you now.
All my time, spend it with you now.
But out here, no one can hear me
Out hear no one can hear me.

Beer me that disk

2007-05-02T06:40:30Z

I'm pretty sure that I just want to spend the rest of my life living out Decemberists songs.
It would involve a lot of pirating, but I think it would be worth it in the end for the gang wars.

I might become a high school drop out.
I bet that's really shocking to a lot of people.

Actually, I bet it's just "Well it's not like he comes to school anyway" to a lot of people.

I just don't want to dissapoint you.

This morning I got kicked out of my house for no real reason and my dad called me around 4 and told me I could come home and he wanted to talk to me.
He let me in, was talking to his fiancee on the phone, and then fell asleep.
I cleaned my room and listened to the Album Leaf, which led to me falling asleep on a stack of magazines, which led to me waking up on a stack of magazines, which led to me having an idea.

I kind of like the idea of not having to go to school, because school gets in the way of a lot of my ideas.

My bike got completely destroyed by some asshole. The tires are slashed, the seat is ruined, and the front tire was unscrewed. Someone left a cookie under the seat. I fucking hate you, you fucking asshole.

I am a really bad boyfriend, in that "I am not a stereotypical do-everything boyfriend" way.
I bet it gets on nerves sometimes.

This weekend was really great, and I wouldn't really have changed anything.

Monday was beautiful.

The part where Regine points at the camera is my favorite.
She was really into their set, to the point where she didn't play her instruments and just danced.
They did weird introductions and bridges for a lot of songs too, which was nice and sort of kept the setlist unpredictable.

Blah blah blah

The latest episode of the Office has Dwight impersonating Jim almost exactly the way I did it for Bri and Frank a couple weeks ago.
It's weird.

This is the story of your red right ankle
And how it came to meet your leg
And how the muscle, bone, and sinews tangled
And how the skin was softly shed
And how it whispered, "Oh, adhere to me
For we are bound by symmetry
And whatever differences our lives have been
We together make a limb"
This is the story of your red right ankle

brian_loserface @ 2007-04-30T21:10:00

2007-05-01T04:38:57Z

There are no pictures of me from Coachella this year. It's like I was never there.
I don't think anyone has taken a picture of me in the past 2 months.
Validate my existence, you fucks.

People attempting to analyze Limp Bizkit lyrics are really stupid.

Blah blah blah Indie Rock and shit.

All I've done for the past 3 hours is try to sleep while listening to The Decemberists and Grizzly Bear and it's kind of the most beautiful, futile, and peaceful my life has ever felt.

Is he famous?

2007-04-29T19:19:36Z

So far it's been a great weekend,

Tokyo Police Club was really good, I kept yelling out songs for them to play and they actually played them.

Of Montreal was pretty bad, both audio quality and stage show quality, so I went to Tilly and the Wall and almost nobody was there, but they were amazing. Even people who don't like them thought it was great.

We went and saw Arctic Monkeys because Chloe wanted to, but then Natasha and I wandered off to Stephen Marley and it was really really good. A ton of people on stage, and Damien Marley singing Welcome to Jamrock.

Andru was there too.

The Jesus and Mary Chain were pretty good too. Scarlett Johanasson actually being there was really tight.

Sonic Youth was Sonic Youth

Gogol Bordello was the most intense thing of my life. I smelled like Gypsys and Whores when I left their set and I wouldn't want it any other way. This redheaded girl kept hitting on me in the pit, it was kind of awkward. Every band should throw a Bass Drum into the crowd and stand on it, that's all I have to say.

My dad bought enough food to feed 10 people, and it was delicious.

The next day was pretty good.

Everything was pretty weak until Hot Chip. I saw Pharoehe Monch and Fields before them. It was okay. I got to ride bikes though. It was really really tight.

Hot Chip were really good, but it was filled with Douchebag High School Kids who were trying to start a Mosh Pit during No Fit State.

The New Pornographers were way better then I expected them to be. They were really funny, too. They started off by showing their new album cover and then saying they wouldn't play anything off of it. That led to them playing every song of theirs I wanted to hear. Joe and I got really into Bleeding Hearts Show. They made fun of Travis and the Internet. Neko Case wasn't there though, so I was kind of bummed.

The Decemberists were fucking amazing. Dance contests, singalongs, and a 20-30 minute version of Mariner's Revenge Song, complete with Giant Whale Costume and crowd chanting and the wave. Colin Meloy is a really good guy.

Arcade Fire went on for an hour and a half and played every song ever. I dueted with this guy next to me on My Body is a Cage and Tunnels. It was epic.

Then we lost Chloe, and spent 2 hours freaking out trying to find her. She was okay though.

Tiesto was kind of bad, but all the people were there and the atmosphere was really really energetic and good. Renee ran into us and we raved. It was tight.

I'm sure it's very interesting to read about what I did.

I'm really glad Natasha came.

Find him
Bind him
Tie him to a pole
Break his fingers
To splinters
Drag him to a hole
Until he wakes up
Naked
Clawing at the ceiling of his grave

brian_loserface @ 2007-04-26T12:37:00

2007-04-26T21:35:35Z

Today has been amazingly annoying.

I asked my dad to wake me up tommorrow for school and he said he would.
I woke up at 9:30

I took a shower, got my things together, went to catch the bus with Tynan, and it pulled away as I turned the corner.

I waited at the Gas Station for the next one, saw Frank, Nathan, Michael Flores, and Gerrit, went to the bathroom, and as I left the bathroom, saw the bus leave.

Around that time I figured it wasn't meant to be and went back home and wrote about what happened.

Everyone ever is going to be sleeping over this weekend.
I'm really hyped on Coachella.

The last few days have consisted of people coming over and playing Wii
Eli and I messaged each other over Wii a couple times, it was very cordial

Last night I spent a long time wondering who came up with the idea for pillows.
It seems so simple, but who decided to put feathers in a sack first?

I am no longer welcome at Stephanie Watson's house.

I watched Family Guy at my Uncle's the other night and I realized that it's really kind of shitty.

Blah Blah Blah

brian_loserface @ 2007-04-22T11:57:00

2007-04-22T19:22:29Z

I am better.

I talked to Natasha about things, played Wii, fixed my toilet, and started on this project I've had in mind for a while, all in the past hour and a half.

Vale Louis To Yo

You don't even know